The One Change I Made to Boost My Confidence, and My Sex Life

I will never become that...

That is what I used to tell myself when I would see these older women walking around Shop-rite with their hair in messy buns, sometimes donning sweat pants and ratty t's, no makeup on...all natural.  Some women can pull it off more than others.  There is definitely an art to looking messy and comfortable while still looking attractive.  But still...I did not want to be that.

I have seen it first hand...sometimes when women get married the drive and effort to look put together at home sort of fades away.  Besides, you already have the man... who else are you trying to impress?  So before I was married, I said to myself that I would never become one of those women.

Fast forward a few years...

I am happily married for almost 2 years now.  I have a step-daughter, no full time kids of my own yet, and it's safe to say that I am most definitely in a different place in my life now than I was back then...you know when I was carefree and making judgements about other people and their lifestyles... thinking how I would never do that or be like them.  How naive I was...

I work full time as an esthetician and my job requires me to be in uniform, meaning I don't have to think much about what I am going to wear on a daily basis.  This leads to me coming home at 3:30, and  having to change out of my uniform.   Now here is the conundrum... It's 3:30; unless I am leaving the house again, my normal routine is to do some chores, make dinner, and then settle in for the night.  My thought process is why not get into my comfy clothes aka pajamas?  What would be the point of putting on jeans and a cute outfit just to so I can walk around the house and cook dinner?

My pajamas usually consist of a pair of comfy sweat pants, and a long sleeved or normal t-shirt.  Sexy right?... I know.

I was doing it.  I had become one of those women I was judging a few years ago.  And it had happened so quickly, I didn't even notice. 

I was talking to my friend at work, and I was saying how I just feel frumpy at home.  I always sleep in sweat pants and t-shirts, and I'm always lounging around in comfy clothes.  "Well why do you do that?" she asked.  Yea...why do I do that?  Granted I am always cold, so sweats make sense...and who doesn't like to be comfortable all the time.  But wasn't my image worth a little more than what I was giving it?  It's such an easy fix, yet I wasn't making the change.

So the following weekend, my husband and I went to the mall to grab some things, and I told him I wanted to go to Victoria's Secret to grab some cute pajamas.  I'm not even talking about lacy, racy lingerie here.  I'm just talking about cute, matching pajama sets.  I had my husband help me pick some out because as much as I like looking cute, I want him to like what I'm wearing as well.  

**I need to interject here...my husband is such a good sport.  Not once did he ever complain about my frumpy pajamas, or me wearing sweats to bed every night.  But he was a little excited to help me pick out some cute, new sets...so maybe he was just holding back all of his own opinions on my sleepwear.**

I couldn't wait to get into my new pjs that night.  After showering, I changed into a comfortable yet stylish grey romper, and I noticed a couple of things.  

1.  I felt good about myself.  I looked put together, and I was loving that.  It wasn't overdone, but it was just a tiny effort that showed I cared about my appearance.

2.  I wanted to be seen.  The fact that I had made a tiny bit of effort made me want to show off to my husband.  Damn, if I'm gonna look good I want him to see it!

3.  I was more confident.  I didn't feel old, dumpy, or boring.  I felt young, trendy and stylish.  

4.  More confidence, wanting to be seen, and feeling cute and sexy is a turn on!  It made me want to be more intimate...and I can vouch that my husband definitly wasn't complaining about that!

5.  When I woke up the next morning and went to the bathroom I still looked good!  I had that just woken up messy voluminous hair and that fresh glowing skin, AND I had on stylish pajamas.  Who doesn't want to look in the mirror first thing and think, "Wow I look pretty good!"

So my advice is to try it.  It's so simple, yet so effective.  Cute pajamas are the key to boosting confidence and changing the vibe in the bedroom.  You don't need to spend a lot, and it's not a personality makeover.  But loving your image, and paying attention to yourself works wonders. 

<3 P.S.  Sometimes a simple tank top and matching boyshorts are all you need.  Everyone's version of what is sexy is different.  Do what makes you feel comfortable, and watch your confidence soar.