My Biggest Mom-Struggle

If you don't know already, I am a pretty structured person. I do well with direction and guidance…which is why baking appeals to me more than cooking. Give me step by step instructions and I can typically execute to a T. Asking me to create a dinner out of random ingredients in my pantry actually makes my heart rate elevate just a tad.

Which brings me to one of my biggest Mom-struggles. They always say parenting doesn’t come with an instruction booklet. Yet a lot of us tend to search for answers all over the place: Google, Mom-groups, Mom-Apps, the Pediatrician, friends, family…you name it. I am definitely guilty of all of the above. Since day one, I have relied on the advice of others and google searches to navigate my way through motherhood.

The problem is that everyone’s advice is different. For someone like me, this is maddening, causing an endless spin of self-doubt and rising anxieties.

Ryker just turned 9 months old. I am currently trying to figure out if and how to sleep train the babe. He is typically waking up once, twice on a bad night, to breast feed for comfort. I have one group of people telling me he is way too old to be doing this, and another group of people telling me he is still so little, waking once a night in an eleven hour stretch is amazing!

Do I let him cry it out? Do I run in there to comfort him when he needs it? The possibilities of what is the “right” answer keep me swimming somewhere in between, with one foot in one door, and the other hand reaching for the handle to another.

I think what I need to do is learn to trust my instincts more. I have a couple of friends who tend to ground me and bring me back to reality. Kate..if you are reading thing…you are always a calming force that reminds me things are totally normal and ok.

Advice is great…and I am constantly looking for it. But I have to remember every baby is different, and trying to figure out mine is all part of the journey. Maybe it’s time to turn off the phone, shut down the computer, and just go with the flow of what Ryker needs in this moment. I know one day I will look back and this will seem like a distant memory, and maybe I will long for Ry to reach out for me in the middle of the night. For now I need to enjoy the baby snuggles and know that both Ryker and I are doing the best we can, figuring it all out together.

<3

P.S. I am so grateful to everyone who helps guide me through motherhood with support and advice. I don’t know how I would do it without all of the daily check-ins, phone calls, visits, and out-pouring of love.