My Breastfeeding Journey

Breastfeeding: This was one of those things that I (like many new Moms) was so nervous about. I had heard horror stories, and war stories, and giving up stories, and stick through it stories. I had talked to women who breastfed for 4 weeks and women who breasted for 4 years!

I wasn’t sure how long I was going to do it, I just knew that I wanted to try. So here we are, 16 months later, and my breastfeeding journey is coming to an end.

Let me start off by saying this: every Mother needs to do what feels right for them. There is no shaming here for women who decide to breastfeed or women who decide they don’t want to breastfeed. Everyone is on their own journey and path.

HOWEVER- I do want to dole out some advice for the nursing Moms. The ones who are struggling and dealing with the challenges…the ones who want to give up. I HAVE BEEN THERE! I have been through it all: I remember in the beginning it took Ryker 45 minutes to eat. 45 min!! (It gets better ladies…I promise) For those of you in the beginning stages, they become efficient, and one day your baby will finish eating in 5 minutes and you will be worried that something is wrong. But everything is fine. More than fine! Your baby is becoming good at what they are supposed to be doing! And that is a good day for both of you!

I struggled with clogged ducts throughout my 16 month journey. And let me tell you…those things are painful. There were times I couldn’t lift my arm because my ducts were so clogged. I've spent hours in the bathtub and shower trying to massage those suckers out. I have had mastitis- with all the flu like symptoms. I have had searing pain throughout my boob for over a month after every feed. I have solely pumped, and solely nursed, and mixed the two together. I have used nipple shields, and gone bare breasted. I like to think that I have been through it all. There were handfuls of times that I wanted to give up. There were times I just felt like I couldn’t take one more day of it.

But I want to tell you something that I wish someone told me: It will get better, and it will get easier. I remember that day that Ryker finished eating in 5 minutes instead of 30. And I really did think something was wrong. But once he became efficient and our sessions together decreased in time, a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I felt like a new woman! I figured out how to manage my clogged ducts, and eating on the go with Ryker was a breeze. I felt like I could breastfeed forever! Why didn’t anyone tell me that it gets easier!? Instead of encouraging words, I got people who were concerned for me, asking me when I was going to stop. People were telling me it was ok to stop, that I had already put in enough time…almost like they were giving me an out…nudging me and telling me I shouldn’t be ashamed for stopping.

But the truth was…I didn’t want to stop. And if that is you - if you are the Mom who is struggling, but deep down doesn't want to stop nursing - I am here to tell you don’t stop. Keep trucking through. Because it will get easier, and you will be so happy you stuck with it.

So here I am at the end of my journey. Next week will be the last week that I will be breastfeeding Ryker. I have weaned him down to one feed at night, and now I have to completely stop. Not necessarily by choice, but there are events coming up that I just won’t be around to do it. It’s a bittersweet ending for me. Sweet because I can drink coffee, and wine and not worry about how it will effect my baby. Plus my husband can take over night time duties now that Ryker won’t be feeding before bed. But bitter because that time was our time. And even though the whole idea of breastfeeding wasn’t appealing to me in the beginning, it truly is amazing at what our bodies can do for our babies. I’m going to miss those moments at night, when it is just us and all has calmed down, and the room is quiet. My heart is heavy as I write this, and thinking that my days of breastfeeding are numbered makes me sad.

I am so thankful that we have been able to experience this journey for the past 16 months together, Ryker Bean. Now, on to our next chapter.

<3

P.S.

In all transparency, being the germaphobe that I am, it freaks me out that Ryker won't be getting the antibodies and health benefits that breastfeeding has provided for him. Mamas, what are your go to tips for keeping your kids super healthy, especially during cold and flu season?

Below are my must haves for breastfeeding (they are all shoppable links). If you guys have any questions about it feel free to reach out!