Pregnancy: Judgements, Expectations, and Reality

It's so easy to judge people.  Honestly, I try really hard not too.  But sometimes I realize that I do judge...and most of the time it becomes most blatant when I, myself, am put in the other person's shoes.

Pregnancy is no exception.  I have had so many thoughts and judgements about what I would do if I was pregnant, and why are these other mothers doing x, y, and z.  Now, being in their shoes, it has been a reality wake-up for me.  And it's not at all as easy as I would have thought.

Most of my thoughts revolve around weight gain, diet, and exercise.  Let me just put it out there, that before I was pregnant I led a pretty healthy lifestyle:  I would exercise probably around 4 times a week (and pretty vigorously at that).  I think I ate on the healthier spectrum.  I didn't think much of it until I went to serve my cousin a vegan quinoa taco and she said, "Why do you always make me eat such weird things??"  I was in shape, and really happy with my body.  

So with all of that being said, here are some judgements I have made previously, the expectations I set for myself if I ever were to get pregnant, and the reality:

Judgement:  Why would anyone ever eat anything unhealthy when they were pregnant?  Don't they know that everything they are eating can directly affect the baby that they are growing?  Fast food? Pizza? Fried foods...Get with it people!

Expectation:  When I am pregnant, I am going to eat all organic, healthy foods.  Not only do I want to keep my weight gain minimal at best, I want to make sure that I am providing all the best nutrients I can to my baby.

Reality: "Babe we need to get more bagels from the bagel store.  And I need another tub of cream cheese!"  My first trimester of being pregnant was not the best.  Let me say, I can't complain too much, because I know others suffer way worse than I did...however there were definitely a few weeks that were a struggle.  My nausea would set in mid afternoon and continue to bed.  I was extremely tired, and nothing was appetizing to me except for heavy carbs, cream cheese, potatoes, and sour cream.  I even made my husband get fast food with me twice in one week!  Bagels and toast were a staple for me.

This is totally the opposite of what I thought I would do.  And it was depressing me.  I wanted to be eating all healthy foods, but the reality is...when you are feeling sick, healthy dinners ARE NOT APPETIZING!  The thought of making full on meals of chicken and vegetables churned my stomach.  But people told me that the baby wants what the baby wants, and to just embrace it.  Sooooo I did, tubs of cream cheese and all.

Now being in the second trimester, my food aversions have lessened, and I'm finally able to embrace fruits and vegetables again.  Strawberries are my new favorite!

Judgement:  I cannot believe how much weight she gained!  Why isn't she working out?

Expectation:  When I am pregnant I am going to work out every single day.  There is no way I am going to let myself "go" just because I am creating a child.  

Reality:  I have gone to the gym ONCE since I found I was pregnant 3 months ago.  I worked out two days after I found out, and felt sooo sick afterwards, I never went back.  The first trimester, like I said, was really tough.  I would come home from work, sit down on the couch, and the next thing I knew I couldn't keep my eyes open!  Even when I get home now, the thought of putting on gym clothes and exerting more effort than my daily routine calls for is daunting.  On top of it, I am scared that I am so out of shape that trying to get back into it is going to be a hardcore struggle.  This is another aspect that has really gotten me down during pregnancy.

But now that I am heading into week 16, my energy levels are getting better...and I am going to try to get back into working out.  Even if it is only the recommended 30 minutes a day of walking on the treadmill.  

Expectation:  Woohoo...My boobs are going to get big when I'm pregnant!  I've always wanted a boob job, now I can finally experience that for free!

Reality: OMG are these things ever going to stop growing?  My boobs have definitely gone up at least a full size, but I'm trying to ward off having to buy any new bras for as long as possible.  I have been wearing sports bras because they seem to be the most comfortable thing at this point.  These fat blobs that have appeared on my chest are just another aspect of my ever changing body.  Maybe if I wasn't gaining weight everywhere I wouldn't mind them so much?  But being that they just add to the overall thicker look I am starting to acquire, I just want them to stop growing!  I miss my small boobs...and I never would have imagined me thinking that!  

I write this blog, A: because I'm sorry to anyone I have ever judged silently in my head for the choices you have made while pregnant.  I realize now, that when you are pregnant, we are just doing the best we can.  We eat bagels because a bagel is better than nothing, and we need some sort of food in our system to actually function.

B:  I want to bring to light that judging people is never a good thing.  I know I know, this is so obvious, we all know this, blah blah blah.  But we can always use a reminder once in a while.  You never know why someone is making the choices they are, and maybe your judgements are waaaaay off.  And how can you judge someone when you aren't even in their situation?

C:  All of these realities are just that...REAL!  So if anyone else has experienced the same thing I am, or is experiencing the same thing right now...I want you to know you are not alone!  (I mean..I'm not alone right??)  Pregnancy isn't easy.  We feel so many different emotions, and go through so many different stages, and our bodies are constantly changing...it's overwhelming!  

So the next time you see a pregnant woman eating a tub of ice cream...just smile.  You never know what kind of day she has had, or maybe ice cream is literally the only thing her body doesn't reject.  

<3 P.S.

Dealing with the failed expectations has been really rough for me.  I feel like my lifestyle has done a completely 180, and I'm not the healthy, fit woman I used to be.  Everyone keeps telling me that I'm going to bounce back so easily.  I just hope that it's true!  Meanwhile I'm trying to enjoy this journey, and to not be so hard on myself.  Pregnancy, after all, is temporary.